Thoughts

Sometimes I find myself wondering what the hell it's all about. Why am I here? What am I living for? Why am I holding on to it? Why can't I just let it all go?
I can picture myself falling into a never ending black abyss sometimes the feeling is wonderful, and other i find that the thought makes my chest tight and my eyes want to spill tears.
I guess I think that in the end all the shit I'm working through isn't really helping me get any further along in life than something I'd rather be doing would. I just can't see the point in life.
Most of the time I can't see the point in going to class, the only thing keeping me there is the thought of my parents being disappointed in me once again. Is that why I'm trying so hard to get my GPA back up, just to see a smile on the faces that I want to smash in most of the time. Don't get me wrong I love them but I can hardly see them anymore as anything better than another torn on the rose of my life. And I know it's wrong because when I stop and think about it they do still give me so much more than they have to.

In better news only ELEVEN more days until CHILDREN OF BODOM!
I cannot wait for that. It's going to be amazing.